I think...ergo I am

Deja Vu !!

2011-07-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

Via Beware of the Blog, but was thinking along the same lines while watching the movie. Hence I quote liberally, with due respect to George.

Quiz Question : Which movie comes to mind when i say the following?

Three friends/roommates in Delhi
a two-wheeler that goes kaput at inopportune moments
spoofs of popular culture especially hindi movies
getting accidentally involved in criminal goings-on

Actually this "could" have been a real quiz question if the great Parnab had been the quiz master

The answer: Chashm-e-Buddoor, Sai Paranjape's cult classic comedy from 1981.

I don't want to shock anyone who thought that the answer is Delhi Belly. Nor do I mean to suggest that the Abhinay Deo-helmed film is a rip-off or that Akshat Verma was taking a hint from Sanjay Gupta and running a DVD of Chashm-e-Buddoor endlessly while doodling out ideas for his script. I just found it interesting that two films I enjoyed had such common elements.

And IMHO Chashm-e-Buddoor is an infinitely more satisfying film in that it is a more "Delhi" film than Delhi Belly and also that the comedy works beautifully without using any shock value.

Thanks George

404 Not Found !!

2011-07-18T23:28:00.000-07:00

Inspiration?

2011-07-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

Exhibit I

The ninth card of the Rorschach Inkblot Test, used by psychologists to analyse the personality characteristics and emotional functioning of patients

Exhibit II

The print poster for the movie Shaitaan

Clearly inspired and a brilliant idea if it was really done with the connection in mind.

And if not, an amazing poster nonetheless

Woh Beete Din Yaad Hain

2011-07-09T02:42:00.000-07:00

The Year is 1984, music director Ajit Singh creates a beautiful song for the film 'Purana Mandir'.

He sings one version himself -

Gets another version, with different lyrics, sung by Asha Bhosle

The film is a resounding success and the Ramsay brothers get a winner again.

Years later, Ajit Singh's daughter Tanya makes her musical debut and what song does she chose to sing? No prizes for guessing, it's her Dad's 1984 hit.

So which is the best version? Judge for yourself.

Misirlou, Cash and Kaminey

2011-07-09T02:17:00.000-07:00

This is the title music from Tarantino's Pulp Fiction called Misirlou. A very very and should i say it again very commonly used and mis-used piece of music popping out everywhere even in the Kung Fu Panda 2 trailer

and even more famously in this

And there is this

although i admit this song sounds much better than it looks !

and finally

there is

this

And being the trivia hunter that I am here are some interesting points -

1. Both the Cash and Kaminey songs are sung by Vishal Dadlani.

2. None of these two use the actual guitar riffs of Dick Dale only the overall mood of the song.

3. Dhan te Nan uses some words from the Black Eyed Peas version like "pump the radio'.

Love Aaj Kal - For the Mango People

2009-08-02T01:02:00.000-07:00

Liked the movie overall, but was mostly satisfied to see the small bits and pieces of trivia that were thrown around without much fuss. And in the end it all came together that's all.

Some observations -

What's with Imitiaz Ali and three-word movie titles Socha Na Tha, Jab We Met and now Love Aaj Kal

- Deepika looks and acts so much like early Aishwarya Rai (so there's hope for her yet!)

- Saif's looking too old in most of the Aaj scenes. He does rather well in his Sardar role, but Saif playing himself (or rather his Lays munching, Taj Mahal Tea drinking, Royale painting self) is too much of a bore. Bottomline, he'll do well in a period piece (e.g. Parineeta)

- Why take Rahul Khanna in for a thankless 2-line role?

- And why take stand-up comic Vir Das if all the funny lines are delivered by the protagonist himself?

- When was the last time we saw the iconic bharis (water carriers) of Kolkata in a movie....Cant remember. And them again at night (with lamps hanging) - nice touch. Infact the whole Kolkata episode was well handled, except the fact that it was totally redundant to the script. Harleen Kaur could have shifted anywhere, why not Gurdaspur or Ludhiana or even Chennai?

- Which area in Delhi is near to both the Red Fort and Qutb Minar?

- When Saif get mugged in San Francisco, the first person who comes to his rescue asks him 'Bangla Naki? Indian?' a nod to the huge number of Bangladeshi and Indian can drivers in Frisco. Another nice touch.

- Too much Yash Raj influence on the entire script. All the foreign locations were redundant and superflous. Saif and Deepika might as well have met in Pune or Guwahati and nothing would have changed. (Similar problem in Shaad Ali's Jhoom Barabar Jhoom)

- Harleen Kaur's character (played by Brazilian Giselle Monteiro) reminded me of Neha in Vidhu Vinod Chopra's Kareeb. But was the Neetu Singh pay-off at the climax indispensible?

- And finally, loved the way the final meeting ws handled. They walk off together away from the crowds and then finally hug - very very unfilmy - But that's the "coolness" they are trying to show off right

Sign Of The Times !!

2009-01-12T10:23:00.000-08:00

Funda"Mental"ly Similar

2009-01-08T05:02:00.000-08:00

How are the two biggest movies of 2008 Ghajini and Rab Ne Ban Di Jodi fundamentally similar to each other?

1. Both are huge hits (Bah !! ...That's obvious. And after Satyam, who believes figures anyway?)

2. Both were hyper-hyped (Both Aamir & SRK have excellent publicity machines. End of question)

3. Both had new actresses (or is female actors the more politically correct term?) (Again, You can't depict a super-hero without a fresh face opposite him. It's about the im-balance, you see)

All of the above are true. But there is something even more fundamentally similar between the two.

In both the movies the protagonist suffers from some kind of mental disorder.

Yeah, I mean everyone in the world and their uncle knows that in Ghajini, Aamir Khan's character suffers from Anterograde Amnesia (Short Term Memory Loss).

But isn't it obvious that Shah Rukh Khan's character in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi also suffers from some form of dissociative identity disorder with some symptoms of schizophrenia also manifesting. Consider the symptoms -

Characteristic symptoms: Two or more of the following, each present for much of the time during a one-month period (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment).
- Delusions
- Hallucinations
- Disorganized speech, which is a manifestation of formal thought disorder
- Grossly disorganized behavior (e.g. dressing inappropriately, crying frequently) or catatonic behavior
- Negative symptoms—affective flattening (lack or decline in emotional response), alogia (lack or decline in speech), or avolition (lack or decline in motivation)
If the delusions are judged to be bizarre, or hallucinations consist of hearing one voice participating in a running commentary of the patient's actions or of hearing two or more voices conversing with each other, only that symptom is required above. The speech disorganization criterion is only met if it is severe enough to substantially impair communication.
Social/occupational dysfunction: For a significant portion of the time since the onset of the disturbance, one or more major areas of functioning such as work, interpersonal relations, or self-care, are markedly below the level achieved prior to the onset.
Duration: Continuous signs of the disturbance persist for at least six months (link)

Didn't Suri/Raj exhibit some or all of the above characteristics.

Well if you ask me it is a pretty solid case.

So where does that lead us to?

Is Hindi Cinema finally growing up and embracing mental illness into the mainstream?

Or is it that they just don't give a damn as long as there are enough fools (like myself) who are willing to shell out money to watch the crap they dish out?

I think we all know what the answer is ......

The"Raja-Praja" Ethos of India

2009-01-07T05:29:00.000-08:00

Satyam Infosystems Owner, CEO and majority shareholder B Ramalinga Raju resigns as expected. Also as expected much controversy and comments follow -

Rediff reports -

"Years after the foreign media wondered if Americans should be afraid of Ramalinga Raju more than Osama Bin Laden beacuse of jobs they lost to India, experts said on Wednesday the fear seems to have come true, although for a different reason.

Raju has certainly inflicted a huge blow to the India story on the global business arena and the companies across the world would be much more vigilant before engaging any Indian company for their business purposes," said an analyst.

Way back in 2004, American media had reported that it was not only dreaded terrorist Osama whom the Americans were afraid of, but Raju was a feared man too as millions of jobs were being outsourced to Indian companies like Satyam" [link]

The irony here is like Osama, Raju too may be able to escape the law.

The issue here is Corporate Governance.

As pointed out here "the problem in the Indian corporate sector, is that of disciplining the dominant shareholder and protecting the minority shareholders, as it is vindicated in the recent Satyam case."

And in this case Mr. Raju is the end all and be all. Because he as majority shareholder misled the minority shareholders. Although he might brush off all allegations to his person, his attitude is endemic to people in power in India.

Be it politicians, industrialists, businessmen or for that matter anyone in any postion of power considers everything under them to be their kingdom.

They "rule".

They are the "Raja". The rest are the "Praja".

And their decree is the law. And if not then there is enough incentive provided to mould the law according to their needs.

And the saddest part is that the Indian public wants it to stay that way.

And they say India is "free".

Ghajini - Bollywood Flashback

2009-01-07T03:57:00.000-08:00

Ghajini is vintage 70-80's Bollywood, albeit 10-15 years too late.

It's copybook revenge-masala fick with bits of "Memento" shoehorned in for the sake of modernizing it.

After watching the movie, I set out thinking - Would the movie have been any different if you just played around the cast with vintage 70-80's actors a bit.

So here goes my take -

Ghajini - 1976

Sanjay Singhania - Vinod Khanna

Kalpana - Hema Malini

Ghajini - Shetty

Sunita - Neetu Singh

Ghajini - 1983

Sanjay Singhania - Mithun Chakraborty

Kalpana - Rati Agnihotri

Ghajini - Ranjeet

Sunita - Sarika

Ghajini - 1988

Sanjay Singhania - Anil Kapoor

Kalpana - Sridevi

Ghajini - Amrish Puri

Sunita - Sonam

Ghajini - 1993

Sanjay Singhania - Sunny Deol

Kalpana - Juhi Chawla

Ghajini - Puneet Issar

Sunita - Sonali Bendre

Well you could make the movie with exactly the same story and exactly the same everything else with any of the casts mentioned above ........ and the result would still have been the same.....GHAJINI...

Soort terrm maimoree looss

Bachna Ae Haseeno - Music Review

2008-08-19T07:01:00.001-07:00

So after failing Aditya Chopra badly in Tashan I mean, No wedding song, No Punjabi numbers, no disco beats, what kind of a Yash Raj soundtrack was that. Who wants to hear rock-bhojpuri anymore. Nothing doing. YRF demands and gets a typical YRF album and that’s all what “Bachna Ae Haseeno” is . So here goes -

Khuda Jaane – A typical Vishal-Shekhar number with Pritam style vocal flourishes from KK. Shilpa Rao has an interesting voice and compliments KK on this one, but but the tune is nothing to write home about and somehow keeps reminding you of “My Heart Goes Hmm” from Salaam Namaste.

Lucky Boy – The lyrics are tacky, corny even and V&S seriously move into Pritam territory and take a leaf out of Himesh’s book and create an entire song based on just one hook. But boy! is that one catchy hook. It keeps reverberating in your head long after you have left the song and after my first hearing of the album it was this one song I could seriously recall. It is ultimately the required Disco /Item number. . The song also features the voice of Hard Kaur and Raja Hassan, whom I seriously couldn’t make out to be his.

Ahista Ahista – OK now this is one hell of an interesting song. If I had heard this song in isolation I would have thought it to be a Rahman composition. Or maybe it’s just Lucky Ali. Coz the way V&S have used Lucky instantly reminds you of “Anjaana” form Yuva. The same wo-oo-oo’s all over the place and again the Pritam influence is present in form of the flamenco guitars at the beginning of the song. But in my opinion the most well constructed song in the entire album.

Jogi Mahi – The compulsory wedding number. It is so generic that I bet V&S composed it in their sleep and then got Sukhwinder to sing over the difficult parts in the morning and then got Himani Kapoor to provide the female foil. The lyrics are predictable with the same Mahi, Heer, Ranjhna, Sajna and all that crap. The song does have a heart-tugging chorus line and rises to a rousing crescendo at the and but only just.

Small Town Girl – OK Wedding Song. Check. Disco Number. Check. So what’s left. Oh yeah the Punjabi number. Can’t find a tune . No problem recycle some of Shankar Ehsaan Loy’s. Take a bit of “Pretty Woman” from Kal Ho Na Ho and “Jhoom Barabar Jhoom” title track and give it a nice mix with your own "Nachle Ve" from Ta Ra Rum Pum. OMG. Who’s gotta sing it?. Sukhwinder’s refused. He say’s the song reeks of Shankar Mahadevan. Vishal Says to Shekhar. No problem Shankar’s a friend. So Shankar comes and sings a re-hash of his own songs. What’s he gotta lose. He’s getting paid !

Khuda Jaane (Revisited) – If there was any doubt that this song is Pritam inspired, the remix clears all that.

Bachna Ae Haseeno – Vishal and Shekhar have made no bones about their RD Burman fascination and they finally legally get to do what they must have been wanting to all along. Remix a Kishore-RD song. And then get Kishoreda’s son to sing it. Sumit Kumar that is. Whose voice actually gets drowned in the beats and whn his Dad’s voice come in to the picture the drum vanish. Oh Yes and the trumpets are intact. But is the song a patch on the crazy saxophone trumpet jamboree of the original song. No chance.

So Vishal Shekhar play safe. Or are rather made to play safe and create a generic Yash Raj movie ka music album, which I must add they fully succeed in doing and throw up interestinginsights into how their think about their music. And one genuinely interesting song. And a definite screen scorcher in Lucky Boy.

"Partner" Movie Review

2008-07-12T01:19:00.001-07:00

OK...I know it's a little late.
In fact little is an understatement, it's more than a year delayed, but hey ...what the hell.
It was drafted then....and as they say...Better Late Than Never..

Partner's - In Crime

As luck would have it (or is it HBO's way of getting back!) I saw the Will Smith starrer Hitch immediately after I saw Partner. And Yes...it is a really shameless frame-by-frame copy. But really, are we actually watch Partner because of it's story! which by the way is as follows - A loser in Bhaskar (Govinda)seeks out the advise of a 'love-guru' Prem (Salman Khan in his most famous screen name) to win his rich and famous lady love (Katrina Kaif). For the rest of the 'story' I suggest watching Hitch.

But do go and watch Partner solely and solely for Salman Khan. Here is an actor, much maligned for his off-screen antics, on top of his acting abilities. In fact his act is so refined and fine-tuned that the other 'hero' is reduced to being a supporting actor. And long after the 'story' has ended, the film continues only to show more of what Salman can deliver. There has never been any question about Salman's comedy skills. Films like Judwaa and Biwi No. 1 are testimony (Both not - so - incidentally directed by David Dhawan, who wields the baton for this movie also) to that.

But here, Salman is just sitting back and enjoying himself. He makes jokes on himself, his own songs, his penchant for opening his shirt at the slightest provocation, his tendency to pick up a brawl and so on. He even pokes fun at his contemporaries like Shah Rukh ( as Chhota Don, played by Rajpla Yadav) and Aamir Khan too.

Even Govinda pitches in. After a series of indifferent roles, downright bad films and mis-starts (Salaam-e-Ishq) he is back in form, laughing at himself all the way. He has fun at the expense of his weight, his dancing style his brand of comedy and all.

Katrina and Lara Dutta look like a million bucks. Lara wowed us in Jhoom Barabar Jhoom and she continues to do so here. In fact the entire Lara- single mom with kid routine (which wasn't there in Hitch) works beautifully, precocious kid and all. Katrina is magnificent and David realizes soon that as long as Kaif smiles her dazzling smile and shows off her amazing booty and doesn't mouth many lines, she's a hit..... all the way.

The music if functional and enjoyable, with the title song and "You're my love' being the pick of the lot. The film does stretch a bit, but hey the entire auditorium was in splits all through. And in the end that's all that really matters sometimes. Copy or no Copy.

Cats !

2007-11-19T07:50:00.001-08:00

Camera: Olympus SP510US
Date: 09-Nov-2007

And then there was light !!!!

2007-11-19T07:46:00.000-08:00

Date: 09-Nov-2007
Camera: Sony DSC-T9 (Multi Shot Mode)

Humayun's Tomb

2007-11-19T07:41:00.000-08:00

Camera: Sony DSC-T9
Date: 3-Nov-2007

42

2007-11-19T07:07:00.000-08:00

Go to www.google.com and type in 42.

Then press "Search" (Alternatively, you can also press 'I'm feeling lucky', if you are really in the mood!)

What you get is this.

Yeah !...It is the ultimate answer.

The answer to Life, the Universe and Everything.

The answer that took the most powerful computer 'Deep Thought' 7½ million years to compute and check the answer !

The answer for which an even more powerful computer was built to compute the 'ultimate question' - the Earth.

But why the hell am I going on and on about 42? Why is it so relevant today?

Well you see my friends, it is the number which seems to continuously elude the greatest living batsman of our times - Sachin Tendulkar.

He is stuck on 41 and I now know the reason why.....

Coz once he reaches that magic number he will finally have the answer.......

The answer to Life, the Universe and Everything.

For more reasons on why Sachin is not getting century number 42 , read this, this and this.

For more on Douglas Adams's analysis on the wonderful 'gentleman's game'....Read this.

Nandigram: In response

2007-11-18T08:37:00.000-08:00

An interesting analysis of the Nandigram issue is given here.
There are although numerous mis-conceptions/mis-communications which are rampant and which need to be cleared out
1. No SEZ as such was planned in Nandigram in the first place. It was part of over 10000 acres of land 'given' to the Salim group for their massive 'infrastructural development' projects. Similar land was earmarked in Uluberia and Purulia and even near Digha.
The Salim group had originally come in only and only for 'housing' projects. It was the West Bengal government which sugar-coated the deal with a "Chemical Hub' proposal.

2. The land was given on behalf of the landowners, who as we know were not the people who tilled the land. Those who 'tilled' the land were the 'bargadars' (vide Operation Barga in the early 70's). These bargadars have no legal right of the land but could take some or all share of the produce of the land. The land still belonged to the landowners although it was the bargadar who lived and toiled there.
Now the very same government which gave the bargadar this 'fair-deal' was taking it back from him. This was like a stab-in-the-back for the small farmer.

3. The Opposition (and the coalition partners) which is now making a huge hue and cry did not oppose the deal when it was ratified by the state assembly (Mamata staged a walkout). They did the same for the Tata project at Singur and the Jindal project.

4. That the land-acquisition game has long since been over yet the place is under seige is an abject failure of the state machinery. What the Buddhadev Bhattacharya government didn't count on was a full fledged peasant's revolt like a 'Telengana' or 'Jharkhand' situation. Very soon Nandigram too could snowball into these pockets within so called well-governed states which are now completely detached from the Union of India and any 'Indian' is treated as an outsider.

5. Cleansing of the hinterland to make way for industrial growth has been a well used tool by communist governments around the world. Russia and China have been doing it for decades and next year's Beijing Olympics will be testimony to that.

6. Many of the agitators are disgruntled CPI(M) workers. This explains why there has been such flagrant display of firepower on both sides. The CPI(M) has a routine stockpile of small and large ammunition for any 'contingency' situation and does not hesitate to use them on a regular basis.

6. People (Mainly left-leaners) also point out to no alternative sites for such chemical hubs or SEZ's. I suggest them to just take a walk up or down the Hooghly from Kolkata. You will find acres and acres of sick jute mills and rotting industrial wasteland . And it has been so for at least a couple of decades. If that is not alternative location.....then I don't know what is.

7. The moot question now is - Human Rights have been violated. Guardians of civil society have acted as goons and people have been killed. What is the solution?

Certainly not colourful processions or sit-ins or demonstrations.

A complicated situation will require a complicated solution.

For another detailed insight into the issue go here

Jai Ma Durga

2007-10-22T10:57:00.000-07:00

Date: 19 Oct 2007
Location: Chittaranjan Park Kali Bari, New Delhi
Camera: Sony DSC-T9

TAJ

2007-08-22T10:40:00.000-07:00

Date: 29 May 2007
Location: Agra
Camera: Sony DSC-T9

ENTER'TRAIN'MENT

2007-08-22T10:23:00.000-07:00

Date: 29 Jan 2006
Place: Garhmukteshwar, U P
Camera: Canon A75

UNITED COLOURS OF AMBY

2007-08-22T10:18:00.000-07:00

Date: 06 August 2006
Place: Hyderabad
Camera: Olympus C765US

Trikaal (1985) - A Review

2007-07-26T23:35:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about the so-called parallel cinema movement in the 80's was the amazing variety of subjects that it chose to portray it’s cinematic idiom with. Moving away from the urban-mainstream clutter of boy-meets-girl themes and angry young man against entire corrupt system (although not in entirety), the film-makers chose to scourge the hinterland and look for something different, even unique.

Shyam Benegal's “Trikaal – Past, Present and Future” is one the most delightful of those films. I had seen this film several times earlier, on Doordarshan where they would show such wonderful movies from directors like Benegal, Govind Nihalani, Gautam Ghosh, Budhadev Dasgupta, Adoor Gopalakrishnan and others. Today with so many dedicated movie channels, does even one of them show those movies. I cannot recall seeing a benegal film (barring Bose, which was interspersed with so many ad breaks that it made the long movie seem longer and much more tiresome) or a Nihalani film (not even Thakshak or Dev which he made with big stars) for a long time.

Such were the treats of the pre-satellite television era.

The movie is a colorful atmospheric insight into the Souza-Sourez family pushed into a crisis by the death of the head of the family, Ernesto. The family is now under the head of the matriarch Dona Maria (Leela Naidu) who refuses to accept the death of her husband and attempts to bring back his spirit through a séance , which she conducts at least three times during the course of the movie.

Despite being led by Naseeruddin Shah, this film is essentially about cameos. And there are numerous. K K Raina as the false teethed, hen-pecked house husband, Anita Kanwar as the ever crying ever-sulking wife (delightful to watch), Keith Stevenson as the Doctor Pereira, Salim Ghouse as the priest. In fact the film features a veritable whos-who of actors, most of whom made a name for themselves in television. Neena Gupta, Jayant Kripalani, Soni Razdan, Akash Khurana and so on.

Most of the film revolves around............... well, nothing in particular. Come to think of it, it is no more a story than it is a slice of a life that has ceased to exist, as the elder Ruiz Pereira (Naseer) ruefully contemplates.(Even the roads that were used earlier aren't used anymore , as the cab driver informs us). The theme of a forgotten past recurs throughout the film. The old housekeeper refuses to divulge anything. The Souza-Sourez family house is itself in ruins.

Two or three other "themes" run in the movie. The fate of Portugese in post-independence Goa is brilliantly captures in the fears of the lead characters, who are faced in a dilemma whether to join the Indian Nation which they feel alien to or to go back to Portugal where they know they will face persecution because they are 'aliens' there. The character of Leon (Dalip Tahil playing a revolutionary) with whom the sympathies of Dona Maria (and the audience) lies, solves the dilemma for us.

Then there is the love story of Anna (Sushma Prakash). She is engaged to Erasmo (Lucky Ali, credited as Maqsoom Ali). However Anna has a childhood crush on Leon. To complicate matters, young Ruiz (Kunal Kapoor in an inspired performance) is head over heels in love with her and sings songs professing his love to her all through out.

Which brings us to the music. How many times in cinema do you see a scene in a film with four real-life singers playing parts. And if those singers be Remo Fernandez, Alisha Chinoy, Lucky Ali and Ila Arun. In these times even geting them on the same stage would be difficult !!!

Remo infuses the typical Goan charm through his love-ballads and his duet with Alisha in the engagement dance is a treat. Arun too gets to flex her vocal chords.

A movie which should be watched for the sheer joy of seeing all these characters come to life in the deft hands of Benegal!

Intensely Profound Statements from movies - 1

2007-06-10T09:29:00.000-07:00

'There are two types of kids in this world. One which wants to be astromoners and the other who want to be astronauts.'

Jurassic Park III

What's in a poster !!!

2007-02-18T21:23:00.000-08:00

Taking nothing away from the fact that Eklavya could be wonderful movie, (rave review here), there's just one small thing that I just couldn't help noticing.
How similar is the poster to that for Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl !!!

Eklavya (2007)

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

Go Figure !!

Is Delhi Burning?

2006-11-01T22:38:00.000-08:00

The 3-day strike called by the traders in Delhi is finally over.

But there is no solution yet in sight.

The government has done what only it can do.....postpone the issue.

As The Times of India reports, the traders have tried everything from "gandhigiri' to "dadagiri".

Nothing worked. Nothing can. You just can't create a mess and walk away from it as if nothing happened.

Now political parties are getting into the the fray (as usual) and wanting to extract maximum mileage. Some have called this an open invitation to disrupt law and order in the national capital.
And indeed it is so.

Schools are scared. Parents are scared.

Delhi, it seems, is burning.

DON – Music Review

2006-09-14T22:51:00.000-07:00

There is something about remixes that irritates me.

I mean, you take a perfectly acceptable song ( in some cases, classics) and then squeeze it, grind it, cut and paste bits from other songs and overall make a mickey out of it and finally the output is – for want of a better word – a “raped” song – titillating , yet obscene. Very very few “remixers” (or DJ’s, if you will) can actually take a song and take it to a higher level and make you listen to it on a repeat mode instead of searching for the original to restore some sanity.

The “Dance Masti” albums by Instant Karma managed to do that. “Samne Yeh Kaun Aaya” and “Dil Kya Kare” from the first album, then followed up with “Hum Bewafa” , “Bahon Mein Chale Aayo” and “Hawa Hawa” in “The Return of Dance Masti” and then and “Aaja Piya” are arguably the best remixes by far (and with proper credits in the dust jackets, unlike others). And Instant Karma was none other than Loy, Ehsaan, Farhaad and Shankar, who also gave film music as Shankar – Ehsaan - Loy.

So why do they make a hash of the one genuine project where they have to do nothing new? I mean when they have already done the best remixes, why do they screw it up in the in the manner that they have. In addition they (and this includes Farhan Akhtar also) have left some of the other gems from the original movie that are so critical that I seriously doubt whether they will be able to cover those up.

The album begins with “Main Hoon Don” by Shaan, which starts so much like the Baadshah title song that I had to listen to the opening strains again to confirm that I was indeed listening to Don. No, the song per se is okay, but it does not have the character the “Main Hoon Don” song in AB’s Don had. The lyrics are “boring” and tedious. Shaan sings well, well. And the techno trance hooks that S-E-L tries to juxtapose, simply don’t work. There was a remix of the original song called “DJ Don” some time back, the video of which had Jackie Shroff as the Don that had more impact than this one. I mean for a title song of a movie that you want to be “THE MOVIE” of the year, “Main Hoon Don” disappoints.

Next up is Sunidhi Chauhan in “Yeh Mera Dil”. Now I have two serious issues with this one. Firstly they truncate the classic opening strands, which were techno beyond anyone’s wildest dreams and copied shamelessly by Black Eyed Peas in “Don't Phunk with My Heart”. Secondly, Instant Karma had a near perfect remix of “Yeh Mera Dil” in “The Return of Dance Masti” and this song is no patch on that one. Wouldn’t it have simpler to just keep that song instead of remixing the remix? And mind you this song is still the best song in album, coz Sunidhi sings like a dream and S-E-L don’t deviate much from the original soundtrack.

Next is “Moreya Re” a Ganpati festival song, which I suppose will do the same job that “Yeh Hai Mumbai Nagariya” did in the original. This song is well, OK. But how well it will work as a set piece to introduce the “other one” remains to be seen till the movie releases. You see the film “Don” by Chandra Barot (of which you can a read an excellent review here) was a film that was symbolic of the seventies. It was iconic in all sense. It was a movie built around set pieces. Each character had a set piece scene for which he shall be forever remembered. Each song was a set piece. “Main Hoon Don” was a set piece for the Don; “Yeh Mera Dil” was for Helen”. “Yeh Hai Mumbai Nagariya” was for the lookalike. “Jiska Mujhe Thha Intezaar” was for Zeenat Aman (which by the way is not present in this version). And “Khaike Paan Banaraswala” was another story all together. All the characters were etched put even if small. Pran, Helen, the two kids, McMohan, On Shivpuri, each one had their roles cut out. It was set piece after set piece after set piece. And that is why the film worked. It gave you no time to think, no ‘whys’ only ‘whats’.

OK. OK. Enough deviation from the track already. The next song is the classic “Khaike Pan Banaraswala”. Enough has been written on how “bad” the song is. Let me not punish them further by saying anything worse. But really, it is difficult to separate which part of the song is the worst part. Is it the starting ditty by Udit or is it the middle of the song blabbering by SRK.

Finally there is the 80s “Aaj Ki Rat”, which is so much like “Raat Baaki Baat Baaki” that I could almost hear Bappida crooning behind the mike.

I am not commenting on the remixes of the remixes, because I did not hear them, very simply because I was too tired already, with the uninspiring music.

I had to go back to S-E-L’s “Bunty Aur Babli” to soothe my nerves, and my ears. S-E-L’s latest albums have not been up to the mark at all. Complacency, anyone? After sweeping all awards last year for B&B, this year has been such a dull year (read as Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna) from Shankar Ehsaan and Loy that all you hear nowadays are nasal banalities from you know who.

Kyunki Ba Bhi Kabhi Beti Thi

2006-08-25T03:57:00.000-07:00

A well known fact is that all the "K" serials that are telecast on all the channels are a pain in the a%^@. What is not publicised is exactly how much painful they actually are.......
Bereft of all logic and common sense, they continue to assault our senses day in and day out. And the sad part is that they are all so frighteningly addictive that you simply cannot do without them. (The other options do not exist if you stay with our family and both your parents are glued to Tulsi and Kashish and Prerna)

But that is not the whole point of this post.

This has more to do with the age of the characters in the serials. Or rather the agelessness of them. Take for example Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, the lead character Tulsi, by conservative estimates, is at least 80 years old. Yes, Eighty years. And you should see the spright in her step, her total body language and all that. Don't believe me...Well here is a back of the hand calculation.

Assume she got married at 18 (the minimum legal age of marriage). The serial has taken two 20 year time leaps. Then she was in prison for about 10-14 years. So add it up and it comes to 70-72.

Then let's add the normal course of time shown during the serial (barring time leaps), say it's around 5-7 years.

OK and add to that the years in which Tulsi's husband was absent and was in Australia or New Zealand with the Mandira Bedi character. That should be around 2-3 years. So adding it all up again....Viola!, we have the character aging 80 years at least. And this is just a rough estimate.

So her husband should be around 82-83. By the way he was about to get married a couple of weeks ago !......

And where does that leave Ba, the matriarch. She was a grandmother when Tulsi got married. Assume around 60-65 minimum. Add to that the 62 years that the serial has moved on and we get a character aged 125 plus.

Wow ! This is one hell of a geriatric friendly show !!

And one does have to admit that India finally does science fiction with ease. And this serial is a living proof. This serial began in 1999 and assuming real time dynamics this serial is now showing us things that will happen in the year 2061....Amazing..!!!!

And this is not the only serial to do so, the other popular soap Kasautti Zindagi Ki also has similar , or rather even more bolder geriatric romance themes. The serial has taken three time jumps and all the lead characters in their early 90s and they are still yearning for other people's wives and getting married and all that, without even a gray hair on their head.

All this geriatric action surely proves that you can actually be "old and bold and beautiful".....

2006-05-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

Love him, loathe him but you cannot ignore him...Now he will act.

2006-05-18T21:20:00.000-07:00

Oz finally completes his "work of fiction" (or maybe it isn't! - Isn't any community in India getting hurt?) "The MBA Gang".
It is all in all a very good read.
Dan Brown take note...There is a new Conspiracy Theorist in town...

Shoot the Messenger

2006-04-10T01:55:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago there was a full-page article, in the Sunday Times of India, on a certain Raghav Mahto, a 22 year old mechanic in Mansoorpur, Bihar, who had started his own FM radio channel, which had quietly transformed the lives of the villagers, cut off as they were from the world, ironically because of the public broadcasters, AIR and Doordarshan. He was giving them their programming, in their language and about them. The article commended the actions of the young man and gave him as an example of how a small idea can bring about a major societal change.

Yesterday, while reading “Men and Ideas”, the weekly column by Gurcharan Das, again in the Sunday Times of India, I came to know that “Two weeks ago, on March 27, his station was closed and his equipment seized because he broke two laws, he did not possess a license and he gave news on FM Radio. A formal complaint has also been lodged against him”

My simple question to Mr. Mahto is, What were you thinking, giving the people what they want? How dare you try to take on AIR, which has the sole right to rule the airwaves in India? And news, have you gone mad, Instead of giving excerpts of a daily diary of the minister of state of agriculture, you give local news? Insane, I must say.

So, a criminal you are and thou shall pay the price for it.

And so shall shooters Samaresh and Anjali Jung. You shall be seeing less and less of them in the future.

Their crime, they dared to speak about the Sports Infrastructure in India. (To their credit, they did steer clear of any comments on their own federation, and they also did not directly make any comments on any other sports federation) But when they stated the simple facts about the conditions of sports camps - ill-kempt toilets, mosquito-ridden sleeping quarters, poor training facilities, power problems, unhygienic food and official apathy, what they left unsaid actually said a lot. So do you think they will get away with it? I doubt it.

As they say, if you can't stand the message - Shoot the Messenger (or may be in the second case “Shoot the Shooters”?)

Love is like baldness

2006-03-30T23:00:00.000-08:00

Came across this nugget in the blogosphere…..

This from http://amar-akbar-anthony.blogspot.com/ Has some more interesting posts….

Love is like baldness*

and other insights from and thoughts on The Adventures of Hir and Ranjha by Waris Shah (transl. Usborne)

*Love is like baldness. You cannot get rid of it even in twelve years.

***
Introduction, Note 14,: The Chenab is the most romantic of all punjab rivers, and one of the most romantic anywhere. The romances of Hir and Ranjha, Sohni and Mahiwal and Mirza and Sahiban are all associated with the Chenab. Incidentally all of them are tragedies, the story in each case ending in the death of both lover and sweetheart. [note to self - avoid meeting girl near Chenab] The idea of 'getting married and living happily ever afterwards', so popular in Europe, seems to be alien to punjabi tradition [wonderful. what I thought was bad luck turns out to be a proud cultural tradition], where great love affairs are concerned. To the average punjabi, it might even appear cheap and vulgar.

***

Chapter 1: We are introduced to Ranjha. He doesn't do any work, preferring to spend his days admiring his reflection, putting yoghurt in his long hair, singing and playing the flute. He is his father's favourite child, who may have thought Ranjha was his daughter.

His father dies, and Ranjha finds that 'evil days have fallen upon me'! He has to work for a living now, you see. He decides to leave the village.

***

Chapter 5: Ranjha sees the beautiful Hir for the first time. His chat-up line is: 'Be gentle with me, sweet heart.' Hir is so impressed, she goes and sits in his lap before another word is exchanged.

Small talk follows [what is your name and caste? how much is your salary? may I be a leper and lose my sight and limbs if i seek any husband save Ranjha]

Hir decides that she must convince her father to hire Ranjha as a cowherd. Cowherding may not be a glamorous profession, but Hir knows it offers opportunities to the young lovers for discreet and frequent romantic liaisons.

***

Chapter 7: 'Their soft eyes were lotus buds and their teeth like rows of pearls.' Ranjha finds himself in charge of a very attractive herd of buffaloes.

***

Chapter 8: Hir goes to see Ranjha in the 'forest', where he has taken the buffaloes for grazing. There they exchange sweet-nothings:

Ranjha: 'The word of women, boys, hemp smokers and bhang smokers cannot be trusted,'
Hir: 'I am yours to do with as you will. You may sell me in the bazaar if it so pleases you.'

Their relationship is blossoming. Hir begins to visit Ranjha every day.

***

Chapter 9: Hir's mother Milka knows what is going on, and she disapproves: 'Daughters who are disobedient to their parents are not daughters but prostitutes' she sniffs.

While Hir did tell Ranjha in the previous chapter that he could pimp her if he liked, we feel Milka is exaggerating matters. But as we will see throughout the story, Hir's family like to exaggerate a lot.

Note 2 for the chapter states: The expression [daughters who are...] is by no means unfamiliar in the punjab villages even now. [now = ?]

***

Chapter 9 cont.d: Hir's family have now all learnt of the affair. They have lots of creative ideas to set things right.

Kaidu, Hir's uncle: 'Marry a naughty girl as soon as you can. Or else break her head and cut her into small pieces'

Milki, Hir's mother: 'You bad girl, you should be drowned in the deep stream for causing such a scandal'

Chuckak, Hir's father: 'Why did you not suffocate her when she was born, Milki, or poison her when she was a baby?'

***

Chapter 10: doesn't make any sense to me. First Ranjha gets fired, then the romantically inclined buffaloes refuse to eat and generally get in trouble, then Ranjha is asked to come back, and so we are back to where we started.

But one must also find time to admire the neat sexual double-standards. While Hir was previously called a hussy and a prostitute and threatened with murder by her own family, Ranjha is called friend by Hir's father and merely relieved of his job.

Then there's the offer Hir's mother makes to Ranjha to return to his job. Come back and milk our buffaloes and spread Hir's couch. They don't mean he is to be the domestic help either. Our cattle, our wealth...and Hir are all yours

It seems that family honour and scandal and a daughter's chastity are all subordinate to the welfare of the family buffaloes. This is good news for our lovers.

Meanwhile, I have the uneasy suspicion that Hir is not the only one in love with Ranjha. I am thinking of course of the buffaloes.

***

Chapter 11: Hir's family don't know what to make of chapter 1O either. So they pretend it never happened and continue where chapter 9 left off:

Chuchak, Hir's father: 'Rip open her belly with a sickle, pierce her eyes with a needle, and smash her head with a milking stool' By now he is just showing off.

Your correspondents feels too ill to eavesdrop further on this family conversation, and withdraws.

***

Chapter 12: This chapter's highlight is a passage of great ethnological interest - a comparison of emotional amorant characteristics of various womenfolk of Desh. This stuff is pure gold.

...the love of a sikh woman is as violent as the current of the chenab...the bengali woman's love is fitful. the hindustani's is childish...the love of a khatri woman is as soft as dough. The hill woman loves openly but the peshawar woman in secret.

The young men of Desh who find this useful may also wish to refer to the Kamasutra, which provides a similar comparison in respect of the physical amorant preferences of the women of Desh.

A word of caution: The information provided in the texts may be out of date, and any attempt to rely on or apply it to contemporary Desi women is done at your own risk.

Chapters 15 and 16: Hir's father decides it's time she gets married. He is tempted to give her to Ranjha - what better way than marriage to kill this romance? But a good muslim father must take into account many things. And so Hir is married off to the Kheras instead, because they are a. of much higher caste than the lowly Ranjhas, and b. the only fools in Punjab who have not heard of Hir's affair.

Chapter 17: Waris Shah builds the tension by switching from one emotional scene to another.

...thus did Hir lament on being parted with Ranjha
is followed immediately by
Meanwhile the buffaloes were ill at ease...

Chapter 17 cont.d: The Kheras must also be the most absent-minded people in Punjab. The large baraat heads back to their village Rangpur in celebratory mood, without noticing the romantic Ranjha following them. But surely they would have been aware of the beautiful new bride they were taking home, the new daughter of the village, the wife of one of their sons? But to hear Waris tell it, Hir finding herself alone and the Kheras merry making, made a signal to Ranjha, called him into her palanquin and embraced him tenderly.

These two are addicted to danger! Not for them running away, it has to be making out in the middle of the girl's wedding baraat or nothing.

Chapter 17 cont.d: There's an exciting and pointless tirade against the Jats generally. Sadly my translation omits it.

Chapter 18: Hir is now at her new home. Meanwhile, Ranjha resolves to become a fakir and 'bore his ears'. Not to mention everyone else's. He also decides to bring back Hir.

It is not clear why he needs to be a fakir to bring back Hir, or how being an ascetic is even consistent with pursuing his beloved. But anyhow...

Chapter 19: A year passes. Hir sends Ranjha a message. Ranjha rejoices and again resolves to become a fakir, and bring back Hir. Ranjha is somewhat lazy.

Chapter 2O: Ranjha finds himself a holy man to be his Guru. The Guru likes what he sees: My lad, your looks are saucy... The guru continues dreamily: ...you have painted your eyes with lamp-black; you play on the flute and stare at women. You tie up cows and milk them. He makes it sound so kinky.

Two line movie reviews

2006-03-30T22:53:00.000-08:00

A post after a really long time….

Have been catching up on a few movies lately, so here goes my two line reviews

Rang De Basanti – Much talked about, but the fact is this - It is not an Aamir Khan film. And if you watch it thinking that it is an Aamir movie, you will be disappointed. Biggest plus - It has a very good musical score, both song wise and background.
Taxi No. 9211 – A very good reworking of Changing Lanes. The musical score works very well. Nana is in his element. This fellow has been giving on a roll these few months after Ab Tak Chappan, Apharan, Bluffmaster and now Taxi ….. Plus any movie that has Sonali Kulkarni is definitely watchable.
Zinda – Was expecting a lot. Very very disappointing. But again, the music works where the scenes don’t
Bluffmaster – If it was a little bit pacier, I would have compared it to my all time fave caper film Ocean’s Twelve. And again the music works where the scenes don’t (Isn’t it strange that Hindi film-makers have suddenly realized the importance of a good background score!!!)
The Spy Who Loved Me – Well, What can I say, a James Bond movie is always a treat and this one has all the masala – Action, Locations, Gadgets and Babes - especially Agent XXX.
Fight Club – Begins slowly, but then suddenly it has a pace that grips you. If anyone out there who hasn’t seen this…..Please do

(Note – Not the Hindi one please)

[This film actually deserves a whole post……..Hmmm]

More movie reviews coming up soon….

Sania Mania a.k.a "I didn't manage my best"

2006-02-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

So Sania Mirza loses again in the second round Unfancied Pin stuns top-seeded Mirza.
OK. I agree it was a tough match and as she says "She wasn't hitting the ball powerfully and I had to generate everything,". "It was hard playing someone like that. She played the best she could, and I didn't manage my best,".

Her best.

One question I would like to ask her is when will she manage her best?

After breaking in to the Top 50 of the WTA world rankings, she has been, to put it mildly, "a disappointment". She plays in major tournaments in the world only to crash out in the first/second round. And yet the media keep on going ga-ga about her. ( Of course there are several other things the media does, that is the matter of another post altogether).

Her T-Shirts, her earrings, her dresses, her attitude, her thighs (Sorry that would be the mullahs). It just goes on and on.

And then there is the Padmashree. The moment I heard that Sania Mirza is going to get a Padmashree, I was surprised, shocked and hurt. I mean what has been such a spectacular achievement so far that she deserves a Padmashree? P. Gopichand had to win the All-England to get it, whereas she got it just because she went so far as the Third round of the Australian Open and face Venus Williams. I just don't believe this.

I have nothing against Sania. I love the way she plays and I am proud of the fact that she gives me a reason to cheer for India during a tennis match. But giving her so much attention and importance so early in her career is just not done. That is the best way to kill a career. We know what happened to Paes and Bhupathi once success got into their head. Do we want Sania to head in the same direction?

Dear Sania, I am still waiting to see your best.

Harry Potter and the art of writing fantasy

2005-12-27T20:07:00.000-08:00

Finaly after resisting for so long, I read through all the six Harry Potter books at a go.

Few points to ponder

1. The number of pages in the series keeps on increasing, i.e. HP6>HP5>HP4>HP3>HP2>HP1

2. From the fourth book onwards, situations become more grand and cinematic. Probably because JKR now knew that all her books would probably be made into movies, so why waste time writing a screenplay all over again.

3. Some of the word plays are really good
Diagon Alley - play on "diagonally"
Knockturn Alley - play on "nocturnally"
Severus Snape - play on "severe" meaning harsh (which he is, to Harry) and "snake"
Hagrid - play on "haggard"
Slytherin - play on "slithering"
Malfoy - play on "malicious" and "foe"
the list could go on and on....

4. Without the movies, the books would really have been also-rans and not global bestsellers. Actors like Alan Rickman who plays Snape and Robbie Coltrane - Hagrid are so very good in their roles that they actually make the characters come alive.

Anyone who has watched Alan Rickman in "Galaxy Quest" and "Robin Hood - prince of Theives" will understand why I am saying this.

Also watch Robbie Coltrane in the James Bond movies "Goldeneye" and "The World is not Enough"

And the films just keep getting better and better.

5. Maybe I am getting the whole plot wrong, but somehow Ron and Hermione do not make a very good "couple". Or maybe they do- it's just that Rupert Grint and Emma Watson don't look good together ;D

Next stop....The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis, before I watch the movie (Could only manage to do that for Charlie and the Chocolate factory)

Thanda Thanda Paani

2005-12-01T21:47:00.000-08:00

Three days back, I was humming my way back from work when suddenly I started to hum a long forgotten song "Thanda Thanda Paani".

And then the chain of thought led back to Baba Sehgal, the electrical engineer at DESU (Delhi Electrical Supply Undertaking) turned rapstar who introduced us to rap much before EMINEM and his ilk became a rage.

Harjit Singh Sehgal a.k.a Baba Sehgal has 22 albums to his credit, of which five have been super platinum (I do not know what that means in Indian terms).

He was also for a long time, hosting the show Superhit Muqabla, hugely popular Countdown show on DD Metro.

His height of fame came when he made his own version of Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" called "Thanda Thanda Paani". Critics and the media ripped him apart by calling him a plaigiarist. Not to take one lying down, he hit back saying that Ice had infact copied the tune from Queen's "Under Pressure", which was infact true.

He also hit back with his album "Main Bhi Madonna" which went on to become a huge hit.

Baba can alos be credited to have the first hit music video. The song "Dil Dhadke" form his album "Thanda Thanda Paani" was made into a video by Ken Ghosh, it was his first probably, telecast several times on MTV, which had a half to one hour band of Indian music at that point of time.

The video featuring a wet and hot Pooja Bedi and a wet but not so hot Baba was ....for want of a better word - pathbreaking.

He in fact was the torch bearer for a new genre in Indian Music - Indi Pop. Companies like Magnasound promoted him and other artistes like Anaida, Shaan and Sagarika, Alisha , KK, Shankar Mahadevan, Daler Mehndi, Bali Brahmbhatt etc. Music Videos were being made and telecast first on MTV, then on the newly formed Channel V and on various shows including Superhit Muqabla.

Baba was not only all about rap. His albums had all sorts of numbers and lyrics which were funny yet meaningful. Compared to other rappers of his time like Stylebhai and Voodo Rapper and probably Bali Brahmbhatt (though he insisted he was a reggae artiste), he was eons ahead.

Then came his big mainstream success. He sang "Rukmani Rukmani" for the film "Roja" with Shweta Shetty, another Indi Pop icon. Although panned by critics for corny lyrics and not so great singing (including the film's director Mani Ratnam and music director A R Rehman, who apparently was not consulted for the music dubbing), the song was a huge huge hit as was the film, so both Mani and Rehman kept silent, even admiring Baba and Shweta for their great vocals.

Baba then probably made the worst mistake of his life. He teamed up with Anu Malik and Venus to make a movie called Miss 420 starring him and starlet Sheeba. They came up with inane songs like "Memsaab" and "Aaja meri gaadi mein baith jaa" and "Jhoom Jhoom re baba". The movie where Sheeba and Baba played secret agents, bombed and Baba's career nosedived.

He did try to redeem himslef with some good albums later but I think he knew that his time was up and he also bid a farewell and Indian music missed a fine performer.

Now I hear that he is back!!....Read Baba Sehgal is back!
and Baba Sehgal comes back in a new avatar

But I think he sahll be forever remembered for his great song "Thanda Thanda Paani"

So here are the lyrics of the "great song"

Aap sab mere dost, my friends
jab bhi kisi 5 Star hotel mein jaate hain,
ya to khaane ke liye, ya kisi se milne ke liye,
ya kisi aur kaam ke liye,
jo aap hi behtar jaante hain.

Lekin mer doston main aaj aapko apna anubhav sunaata hoon
jisse sunkar aap bhi gungunaynge

THanda thanda pani
THanda thanda pani
THanda thanda pani

Main 5-Star hotel pehli baar gaya
maine dekha paani se bhara swimming pool
aaya manager, bola baithiye please sir sir sir
aapki sewa mein haazair hoon
kuch farmaiye, boliye kya aapko chahiye?

THanda thanda pani
THanda thanda pani
THanda thanda pani

Waiter bhi aaya,
aur cold drink laya,
mera sar chakraya,
bola hai kya laaya,
aur gurraya
"call the president"
staff ghabraya
jab president aaya
dekha soni soni kudi, lal sari waali aage khadi hai
madam" Kya samasya hui hai?"

ha ha ho ha ha ha ha ha

woh boli aapne bulwaya mujhe
kya problem hain sir?
kuch nahi nahi
yeh chalta rehta hai bas yun hi
nahi nahi sir
hum hotel ki taraf se aapse maafi maangte hai
confession bhi karte hai
kya aapko chahiye?

THanda thanda pani
THanda thanda pani
THanda thanda pani

Paani maine piya aur bola shukriya
madam ne bhi yeh bola please aate rahhiyega
hamari iss bhool ko bhool jaayiega
love tata maine kiya aur vaada bhi kiya
phir nikla hotel se dheere dheere
thinking madam madam,
thinking madam madam,
thinking madam madam

yaad mujhe aaya maine poocha nahi naam
maine chhi chhi chhi kyun poocha nahi naam
kaise bhul gaya main, kaise bhul gaya main
maine ek ladki ka naam nahin poochha
freinds yeh sunenge aur hasenge
kahenge" oh what a shame yaar!
tune ek ladki ka naam nahin poochha"

rib bab bab ribbabba rib bib bib ba ba
rib bab bab ribbabba rib bib bib ba ba
rib bab bab ribbabba rib bib bib ba ba
baaa....

bhag kar main phir dobara gaya hotel
seedha madam ka "Presidents Room"
aur zor se chillaya
Madam aapka naam kya hain?
Madam ne bhi dekha mere maathe ka paseena
boli naam bhi bataoongi,
pehle kuch lenge aap??

THanda thanda pani
THanda thanda pani
THanda thanda pani

Of Childhood and toys

2005-11-18T02:29:00.000-08:00

Speaking to my niece the other day I got updated on the latest object of fascination of kids nowadays - beyblades. And it prompted me to look it up in the net. - No access to kids of any sorts where I stay.

Well.... I found the whole thing to be too complicated for my understanding (though I wouldn't like to comment too much on that). It was the same with Pokemon a few years earlier. Having to babysit my nephews and nieces many times I made it a point to watch "Powerpuff Girls" and "Dexter's laborator y" even when my peer group watched "Baywatch" and "X-Files"!! So far so good. But when they got tired of these "silly" cartoons and moved on to Pokemon, I somehow could not keep pace. In their myriad universes of heroes and villians I lost myself and slowly found myself as an "alien in an unknown land".

Wasn't it much simpler when we were children.

Our He-Man's and GI Joe's were infinitely simpler than these new fangled toys. I still remember how we used to look in envy to those kids who had purchased a new "He-Man" action figure.

One of my neighbourhood guys (was staying in posh West Delhi those days) had got an entire Castle Grayskull with almost all the figures. Oh my god !!! I used to hate him for that.

As for me, I found solace in the TV series and the comic books - Those days we used to get mini comic books, four of them for six rupees. I must have bought around twenty of them.

And then came GI Joe and democracy. Much cheaper and infinitely more flexible than the He-Men, GI Joe also had funky accessories like backsacks and guns which made them all the more"cool". I remember my first one "Snow Job"

and the next one "Gung Ho".

After that it became a race to who will have the largest number of figures and action vehicles and battleground modules and board games and so on and so forth.

Alas like all good things this also did not last forever.

It was soon replaced by Street Hawk - " The Man The Machine ....Street Hawk".

Fuelled by the success of the tv show, Funskool (who had earlier marketed action figures of GI Joe and tasted success) launched an action figure of The Eponymous Hero.

So there we were, riding Street Hawk on his bike and singing the theme music.
Ahaaa...those were the days.

Pretty uncluttered and uncomplicated...right.

After then we discovered audio cassettes, T-Series and Gulshan Kumar.
That of course, is another story.

More on That 80s Thing ........

2005-11-02T03:13:00.000-08:00

Found a fellow i arms, finally.
Here are two links to further elucidate that somethings are indeed memorable
http://renaissancetalk.blogspot.com/2005/05/nostalgia-5-soaps-on-india-television.html.

In fact there is some thing on 80s advertisements as well.....
http://renaissancetalk.blogspot.com/2005/04/nostalgia-3-dds-80-jingles-ads.html.

Some of these ads, even the Kayam Churna one is still on air. Good things never go out of fashion.

Blooper: Pudin Hara is a product from Dabur and not from Hamdard.

The Tajmahal is Tejomahalay A Hindu Temple

2005-10-27T23:07:00.000-07:00

This is a reproduction of an article written by eminent historian Shri P.N.Oak

Probably there is no one who has been duped at least once in a life time. But can the whole world can be duped? This may seem impossible. But in the matter of indian and world history the world can be duped in many respects for hundreds of years and still continues to be duped. The world famous Tajmahal is a glaring instance. For all the time, money and energy that people over the world spend in visiting the Tajmahal, they are dished out of concoction. Contrary to what visitors are made to believe the Tajmahal is not a Islamic mausoleum but an ancient Shiva Temple known as Tejo Mahalaya which the 5th generation moghul emperor Shahjahan commandeered from the then Maharaja of Jaipur. The Tajmahal, should therefore, be viewed as a temple palace and not as a tomb. That makes a vast difference. You miss the details of its size, grandeur, majesty and beauty when you take it to be a mere tomb. When told that you are visiting a temple palace you wont fail to notice its annexes, ruined defensive walls, hillocks, moats, cascades, fountains, majestic garden, hundreds of rooms archaded verendahs, terraces, multi stored towers, secret sealed chambers, guest rooms, stables, the trident (Trishul) pinnacle on the dome and the sacred, esoteric Hindu letter "OM" carved on the exterior of the wall of the sanctum sanctorum now occupied by the centotaphs. For detailed proof of this breath taking discovery,you may read the well known historian Shri. P. N. Oak's celebrated book titled " Tajmahal : The True Story". But let us place before you, for the time being an exhaustive summary of the massive evidence ranging over hundred points:

NAME

1.The term Tajmahal itself never occurs in any mogul court paper or chronicle even in Aurangzeb's time. The attempt to explain it away as Taj-i-mahal is therefore, ridiculous.

2.The ending "Mahal"is never muslim because in none of the muslim countries around the world from Afghanistan to Algeria is there a building known as "Mahal".

3.The unusual explanation of the term Tajmahal derives from Mumtaz Mahal, who is buried in it, is illogical in at least two respects viz., firstly her name was never Mumtaj Mahal but Mumtaz-ul-Zamani and secondly one cannot omit the first three letters "Mum" from a woman's name to derive the remainder as the name of the building.

4.Since the lady's name was Mumtaz (ending with 'Z') the name of the building derived from her should have been Taz Mahal, if at all, and not Taj (spelled with a 'J').

5.Several European visitors of Shahjahan's time allude to the building as Taj-e-Mahal is almost the correct tradition, age old Sanskrit name Tej-o-Mahalaya, signifying a Shiva temple. Contrarily Shahjahan and Aurangzeb scrupulously avoid using the Sanskrit term and call it just a holy grave.

6.The tomb should be understood to signify NOT A BUILDING but only the grave or centotaph inside it. This would help people to realize that all dead muslim courtiers and royalty including Humayun, Akbar, Mumtaz, Etmad-ud-Daula and Safdarjang have been buried in capture Hindu mansions and temples.

7.Moreover, if the Taj is believed to be a burial place, how can the term Mahal, i.e., mansion apply to it?

8.Since the term Taj Mahal does not occur in mogul courts it is absurd to search for any mogul explanation for it. Both its components namely, 'Taj' and' Mahal' are of Sanskrit origin.

TEMPLE TRADITION

9.The term Taj Mahal is a corrupt form of the sanskrit term TejoMahalay signifying a Shiva Temple. Agreshwar Mahadev i.e., The Lord of Agra was consecrated in it.

10.The tradition of removing the shoes before climbing the marble platform originates from pre Shahjahan times when the Taj was a Shiva Temple. Had the Taj originated as a tomb, shoes need not have to be removed because shoes are a necessity in a cemetery.

11.Visitors may notice that the base slab of the centotaph is the marble basement in plain white while its superstructure and the other three centotaphs on the two floors are covered with inlaid creeper designs. This indicates that the marble pedestal of the Shiva idol is still in place and Mumtaz's centotaphs are fake.

12.The pitchers carved inside the upper border of the marble lattice plus those mounted on it number 108-a number sacred in Hindu Temple tradition.

13.There are persons who are connected with the repair and the maintainance of the Taj who have seen the ancient sacred Shiva Linga and other idols sealed in the thick walls and in chambers in the secret, sealed red stone stories below the marble basement. The Archaeological Survey of India is keeping discretely, politely and diplomatically silent about it to the point of dereliction of its own duty to probe into hidden historical evidence.

14.In India there are 12 Jyotirlingas i.e., the outstanding Shiva Temples. The Tejomahalaya alias The Tajmahal appears to be one of them known as Nagnatheshwar since its parapet is girdled with Naga, i.e., Cobra figures. Ever since Shahjahan's capture of it the sacred temple has lost its Hindudom.

15.The famous Hindu treatise on architecture titled Vishwakarma Vastushastra mentions the 'Tej-Linga' amongst the Shivalingas i.e., the stone emblems of Lord Shiva, the Hindu deity. Such a Tej Linga was consecrated in the Taj Mahal, hence the term Taj Mahal alias Tejo Mahalaya.

16.Agra city, in which the Taj Mahal is located, is an ancient centre of Shiva worship. Its orthodox residents have through ages continued the tradition of worshipping at five Shiva shrines before taking the last meal every night especially during the month of Shravan. During the last few centuries the residents of Agra had to be content with worshipping at only four prominent Shiva temples viz., Balkeshwar, Prithvinath, Manakameshwar and Rajarajeshwar. They had lost track of the fifth Shiva deity which their forefathers worshipped. Apparently the fifth was Agreshwar Mahadev Nagnatheshwar i.e., The Lord Great God of Agra, The Deity of the King of Cobras, consecrated in the Tejomahalay alias Tajmahal.

17.The people who dominate the Agra region are Jats. Their name of Shiva is Tejaji. The Jat special issue of The Illustrated Weekly of India (June 28,1971) mentions that the Jats have the Teja Mandirs i.e., Teja Temples. This is because Teja-Linga is among the several names of the Shiva Lingas. From this it is apparent that the Taj-Mahal is Tejo-Mahalaya, The Great Abode of Tej.

DOCUMENTARY EVIDENCE

18. Shahjahan's own court chronicle, the Badshahnama, admits (page 403, vol 1) that a grand mansion of unique splendor, capped with a dome (Imaarat-a-Alishan wa Gumbaze) was taken from the Jaipur Maharaja Jaisigh for Mumtaz's burial, and the building was known as Raja Mansingh's palace.

19. The plaque put the archealogy department outside the Tajmahal describes the edifice as a mausoleum built by Shahjahan for his wife Mumtaz Mahal , over 22 years from 1631 to 1653. That plaque is a specimen of historical bungling. Firstly, the plaque sites no authority for its claim. Secondly the lady's name was Mumtaz-ulZamani and not Mumtazmahal. Thirdly, the period of 22 years is taken from some mumbo jumbo noting by an unreliable French visitor Tavernier, to the exclusion of all muslim versions, which is an absurdity.

20. Prince Aurangzeb's letter to his father,emperor Shahjahan,is recorded in atleast three chronicles titled `Aadaab-e-Alamgiri', `Yadgarnama', and the `Muruqqa-i-Akbarabadi' (edited by Said Ahmed, Agra, 1931, page 43, footnote 2). In that letter Aurangzeb records in 1652 A.D itself that the several buildings in the fancied burial place of Mumtaz were seven storeyed and were so old that they were all leaking, while the dome had developed a crack on the northern side.Aurangzeb, therefore, ordered immediate repairs to the buildings at his own expense while recommending to the emperor that more elaborate repairs be carried out later. This is the proof that during Shahjahan's reign itself that the Taj complex was so old as to need immediate repairs.

21. The ex-Maharaja of Jaipur retains in his secret personal `KapadDwara' collection two orders from Shahjahan dated Dec 18, 1633 (bearing modern nos. R.176 and 177) requestioning the Taj building complex. That was so blatant a usurpation that the then ruler of Jaipur was ashamed to make the document public.

22. The Rajasthan State archives at Bikaner preserve three other firmans addressed by Shahjahan to the Jaipur's ruler Jaising ordering the latter to supply marble (for Mumtaz's grave and koranic grafts) from his Makranna quarris, and stone cutters. Jaisingh was apparently so enraged at the blatant seizure of the Tajmahal that he refused to oblige Shahjahan by providing marble for grafting koranic engravings and fake centotaphs for further desecration of the Tajmahal. Jaising looked at Shahjahan's demand for marble and stone cutters, as an insult added to injury. Therefore, he refused to send any marble and instead detained the stone cutters in his protective custody.

23. The three firmans demanding marble were sent to Jaisingh within about two years of Mumtaz's death. Had Shahjahan really built the Tajmahal over a period of 22 years, the marble would have needed only after 15 or 20 years not immediately after Mumtaz's death.

24. Moreover, the three mention neither the Tajmahal, nor Mumtaz, nor the burial. The cost and the quantity of the stone also are not mentioned. This proves that an insignificant quantity of marble was needed just for some supercial tinkering and tampering with the Tajmahal. Even otherwise Shahjahan could never hope to build a fabulous Tajmahal by abject dependence for marble on a non cooperative Jaisingh.

EUROPEAN VISITOR'S ACCOUNTS

25. Tavernier, a French jeweller has recorded in his travel memoirs that Shahjahan purposely buried Mumtaz near the Taz-i-Makan (i.e.,`The Taj building') where foriegners used to come as they do even today so that the world may admire. He also adds that the cost of the scaffolding was more than that of the entire work. The work that Shahjahan commissioned in the Tejomahalaya Shiva temple was plundering at the costly fixtures inside it, uprooting the Shiva idols, planting the centotaphs in their place on two stories, inscribing the koran along the arches and walling up six of the seven stories of the Taj. It was this plunder, desecrating and plunderring of the rooms which took 22 years.

26. Peter Mundy, an English visitor to Agra recorded in 1632 (within only a year of Mumtaz's death) that `the places of note in and around Agra, included Taj-e-Mahal's tomb, gardens and bazaars'.He, therefore, confirms that that the Tajmahal had been a noteworthy building even before Shahjahan.

27. De Laet, a Dutch official has listed Mansingh's palace about a mile from Agra fort, as an outstanding building of pre shahjahan's time. Shahjahan's court chronicle, the Badshahnama records, Mumtaz's burial in the same Mansingh's palace.

28. Bernier, a contemporary French visitor has noted that non muslim's were barred entry into the basement (at the time when Shahjahan requisitioned Mansingh's palace) which contained a dazzling light. Obviously, he reffered to the silver doors, gold railing, the gem studded lattice and strings of pearl hanging over Shiva's idol. Shahjahan comandeered the building to grab all the wealth, making Mumtaz's death a convineant pretext.

29. Johan Albert Mandelslo, who describes life in agra in 1638 (only 7 years after mumtaz's death) in detail (in his `Voyages and Travels to West-Indies', published by John Starkey and John Basset, London), makes no mention of the Tajmahal being under constuction though it is commonly erringly asserted or assumed that the Taj was being built from 1631 to 1653.

SANSKIRT INSCRIPTION

30. A Sanskrit inscription too supports the conclusion that the Taj originated as a Shiva temple. Wrongly termed as the Bateshwar inscription (currently preserved on the top floor of the Lucknow museum), it refers to the raising of a "crystal white Shiva temple so alluring that Lord Shiva once enshrined in it decided never to return to Mount Kailash his usual abode". That inscription dated 1155 A.D. was removed from the Tajmahal garden at Shahjahan's orders. Historicians and Archeaologists have blundered in terming the insription the `Bateshwar inscription' when the record doesn't say that it was found by Bateshwar. It ought, in fact, to be called `The Tejomahalaya inscription' because it was originally installed in the Taj garden before it was uprooted and cast away at Shahjahan's command.

A clue to the tampering by Shahjahan is found on pages 216-217, vol. 4, of Archealogiical Survey of India Reports (published 1874) stating that a "great square black balistic pillar which, with the base and capital of another pillar....now in the grounds of Agra,...it is well known, once stood in the garden of Tajmahal".

MISSING ELEPHANTS

31. Far from the building of the Taj, Shahjahan disfigured it with black koranic lettering and heavily robbed it of its Sanskrit inscription, several idols and two huge stone elephants extending their trunks in a welcome arch over the gateway where visitors these days buy entry tickets. An Englishman, Thomas Twinning, records (pg.191 of his book "Travels in India A Hundred Years ago") that in November 1794 "I arrived at the high walls which enclose the Taj-e-Mahal and its circumjacent buildings. I here got out of the palanquine and.....mounted a short flight of steps leading to a beautiful portal which formed the centre of this side of the `COURT OF ELEPHANTS" as the great area was called."

KORANIC PATCHES

32. The Taj Mahal is scrawled over with 14 chapters of the Koran but nowhere is there even the slightest or the remotest allusion in that Islamic overwriting to Shahjahan's authorship of the Taj. Had Shahjahan been the builder he would have said so in so many words before beginning to quote Koran.

33. That Shahjahan, far from building the marble Taj, only disfigured it with black lettering is mentioned by the inscriber Amanat Khan Shirazi himself in an inscription on the building. A close scrutiny of the Koranic lettering reveals that they are grafts patched up with bits of variegated stone on an ancient Shiva temple.

CARBON 14 TEST

34. A wooden piece from the riverside doorway of the Taj subjected to the carbon 14 test by an American Laboratory, has revealed that the door to be 300 years older than Shahjahan,since the doors of the Taj, broken open by Muslim invaders repeatedly from the 11th century onwards, had to b replaced from time to time. The Taj edifice is much more older. It belongs to 1155 A.D, i.e., almost 500 years anterior to Shahjahan.

ARCHITECHTURAL EVIDENCE

35. Well known Western authorities on architechture like E.B.Havell, Mrs.Kenoyer and Sir W.W.Hunterhave gone on record to say that the TajMahal is built in the Hindu temple style. Havell points out the ground plan of the ancient Hindu Chandi Seva Temple in Java is identical with that of the Taj.

36. A central dome with cupolas at its four corners is a universal feature of Hindu temples.

37. The four marble pillars at the plinth corners are of the Hindu style. They are used as lamp towers during night and watch towers during the day. Such towers serve to demarcate the holy precincts. Hindu wedding altars and the altar set up for God Satyanarayan worship have pillars raised at the four corners.

38. The octagonal shape of the Tajmahal has a special Hindu significance because Hindus alone have special names for the eight directions, and celestial guards assigned to them. The pinnacle points to the heaven while the foundation signifies to the nether world. Hindu forts, cities, palaces and temples genrally have an octagonal layout or some octagonal features so that together with the pinnacle and the foundation they cover all the ten directions in which the king or God holds sway, according to Hindu belief.

39. The Tajmahal has a trident pinncle over the dome. A full scale of the trident pinnacle is inlaid in the red stone courtyard to the east of the Taj. The central shaft of the trident depicts a "Kalash" (sacred pot) holding two bent mango leaves and a coconut. This is a sacred Hindu motif. Identical pinnacles have been seen over Hindu and Buddhist temples in the Himalayan region. Tridents are also depicted against a red lotus background at the apex of the stately marble arched entrances on all four sides of the Taj. People fondly but mistakenly believed all these centuries that the Taj pinnacle depicts a Islamic cresent and star was a lighting conductor installed by the British rulers in India. Contrarily, the pinnacle is a marvel of Hindu metallurgy since the pinnacle made of non rusting alloy, is also perhaps a lightning deflector. That the pinnacle of the replica is drawn in the eastern courtyard is significant because the east is of special importance to the Hindus, as the direction in which the sun rises. The pinnacle on the dome has the word `Allah' on it after capture. The pinnacle figure on the ground does not have the word Allah.

INCONSISTENCIES

40. The two buildings which face the marble Taj from the east and west are identical in design, size and shape and yet the eastern building is explained away by Islamic tradition, as a community hall while the western building is claimed to be a mosque. How could buildings meant for radically different purposes be identical? This proves that the western building was put to use as a mosque after seizure of the Taj property by Shahjahan. Curiously enough the building being explained away as a mosque has no minaret. They form a pair af reception pavilions of the Tejomahalaya temple palace.

41. A few yards away from the same flank is the Nakkar Khana alias DrumHouse which is a intolerable incongruity for Islam. The proximity of the Drum House indicates that the western annex was not originally a mosque. Contrarily a drum house is a neccesity in a Hindu temple or palace because Hindu chores,in the morning and evening, begin to the sweet strains of music.

42. The embossed patterns on the marble exterior of the centotaph chamber wall are foilage of the conch shell design and the Hindu letter "OM". The octagonally laid marble lattices inside the centotaph chamber depict pink lotuses on their top railing. The Lotus, the conch and the OM are the sacred motifs associated with the Hindu deities and temples.

43. The spot occupied by Mumtaz's centotaph was formerly occupied by the Hindu Teja Linga a lithic representation of Lord Shiva. Around it are five perambulatory passages. Perambulation could be done around the marble lattice or through the spacious marble chambers surrounding the centotaph chamber, and in the open over the marble platform. It is also customary for the Hindus to have apertures along the perambulatory passage, overlooking the deity. Such apertures exist in the perambulatories in the Tajmahal.

44. The sanctom sanctorum in the Taj has silver doors and gold railings as Hindu temples have. It also had nets of pearl and gems stuffed in the marble lattices. It was the lure of this wealth which made Shahjahan commandeer the Taj from a helpless vassal Jaisingh, the then ruler of Jaipur.

45. Peter Mundy, a Englishman records (in 1632, within a year of Mumtaz's death) having seen a gem studded gold railing around her tomb. Had the Taj been under construction for 22 years, a costly gold railing would not have been noticed by Peter mundy within a year of Mumtaz's death. Such costl fixtures are installed in a building only after it is ready for use. This indicates that Mumtaz's centotaph was grafted in place of the Shivalinga in the centre of the gold railings. Subsequently the gold railings, silver doors, nets of pearls, gem fillings etc. were all carried away to Shahjahan's treasury. The seizure of the Taj thus constituted an act of highhanded Moghul robery causing a big row between Shahjahan and Jaisingh.

46. In the marble flooring around Mumtaz's centotaph may be seen tiny mosaic patches. Those patches indicate the spots where the support for the gold railings were embedded in the floor. They indicate a rectangular fencing.

47. Above Mumtaz's centotaph hangs a chain by which now hangs a lamp. Before capture by Shahjahan the chain used to hold a water pitcher from which water used to drip on the Shivalinga.

48. It is this earlier Hindu tradition in the Tajmahal which gave the Islamic myth of Shahjahan's love tear dropping on Mumtaz's tomb on the full moon day of the winter eve.

TREASURY WELL

49. Between the so-called mosque and the drum house is a multistoried octagonal well with a flight of stairs reaching down to the water level. This is a traditional treasury well in Hindu temple palaces. Treasure chests used to be kept in the lower apartments while treasury personnel had their offices in the upper chambers. The circular stairs made it difficult for intruders to reach down to the treasury or to escape with it undetected or unpursued. In case the premises had to be surrendered to a besieging enemy the treasure could be pushed into the well to remain hidden from the conquerer and remain safe for salvaging if the place was reconquered. Such an elaborate multistoried well is superflous for a mere mausoleum. Such a grand, gigantic well is unneccesary for a tomb.

BURIAL DATE UNKNOWN

50. Had Shahjahan really built the Taj Mahal as a wonder mausoleum, history would have recorded a specific date on which she was ceremoniously buried in the Taj Mahal. No such date is ever mentioned. This important missing detail decisively exposes the falsity of the Tajmahal legend.

51. Even the year of Mumtaz's death is unknown. It is variously speculated to be 1629, 1630, 1631 or 1632. Had she deserved a fabulous burial, as is claimed, the date of her death had not been a matter of much speculation. In an harem teeming with 5000 women it was difficult to keep track of dates of death. Apparently the date of Mumtaz's death was so insignificant an event, as not to merit any special notice. Who would then build a Taj for her burial?

BASELESS LOVE STORIES

52. Stories of Shahjahan's exclusive infatuation for Mumtaz's are concoctions. They have no basis in history nor has any book ever written on their fancied love affairs. Those stories have been invented as an afterthought to make Shahjahan's authorship of the Taj look plausible.

COST

53. The cost of the Taj is nowhere recorded in Shahjahan's court papers because Shahjahan never built the Tajmahal. That is why wild estimates of the cost by gullible writers have ranged from 4 million to 91.7 million rupees.

PERIOD OF CONSTRUCTION

54. Likewise the period of construction has been guessed to be anywhere between 10 years and 22 years. There would have not been any scope for guesswork had the building construction been on record in the court papers.

ARCHITECTS

55. The designer of the Tajmahal is also variously mentioned as Essa Effendy, a Persian or Turk, or Ahmed Mehendis or a Frenchman, Austin deBordeaux, or Geronimo Veroneo, an Italian, or Shahjahan himself.

RECORDS DON'T EXIST

56. Twenty thousand labourers are supposed to have worked for 22 years during Shahjahan's reign in building the Tajmahal. Had this been true, there should have been available in Shahjahan's court papers design drawings, heaps of labour muster rolls, daily expenditure sheets, bills and receipts of material ordered, and commisioning orders. There is not even a scrap of paper of this kind.

57. It is, therefore, court flatterers,blundering historians, somnolent archeologists, fiction writers, senile poets, careless tourists officials and erring guides who are responsible for hustling the world into believing in Shahjahan's mythical authorship of the Taj.

58. Description of the gardens around the Taj of Shahjahan's time mention Ketaki, Jai, Jui, Champa, Maulashree, Harshringar and Bel. All these are plants whose flowers or leaves are used in the worship of Hindu deities. Bel leaves are exclusively used in Lord Shiva's worship. A graveyard is planted only with shady trees because the idea of using fruit and flower from plants in a cemetary is abhorrent to human conscience. The presence of Bel and other flower plants in the Taj garden is proof of its having been a Shiva temple before seizure by Shahjahan.

59. Hindu temples are often built on river banks and sea beaches. The Taj is one such built on the bank of the Yamuna river an ideal location for a Shiva temple.

60. Prophet Mohammad has ordained that the burial spot of a muslim should be inconspicous and must not be marked by even a single tombstone. In flagrant violation of this, the Tajamhal has one grave in the basement and another in the first floor chamber both ascribed to Mumtaz. Those two centotaphs were infact erected by Shahjahan to bury the two tier Shivalingas that were consecrated in the Taj. It is customary for Hindus to install two Shivalingas one over the other in two stories as may be seen in the Mahankaleshwar temple in Ujjain and the Somnath temple raised by Ahilyabai in Somnath Pattan.

61. The Tajmahal has identical entrance arches on all four sides. This is a typical Hindu building style known as Chaturmukhi, i.e.,four faced.

THE HINDU DOME

62. The Tajmahal has a reverberating dome. Such a dome is an absurdity for a tomb which must ensure peace and silence. Contrarily reverberating domes are a neccesity in Hindu temples because they create an ecstatic dinmultiplying and magnifying the sound of bells, drums and pipes accompanying the worship of Hindu deities.

63. The Tajmahal dome bears a lotus cap. Original Islamic domes have a bald top as is exemplified by the Pakistan Embassy in Chanakyapuri, New Delhi, and the domes in the Pakistan's newly built capital Islamabad.

64. The Tajmahal entrance faces south. Had the Taj been an Islamic building it should have faced the west.

TOMB IS THE GRAVE,NOT THE BUILDING

65. A widespread misunderstanding has resulted in mistaking the building for the grave.Invading Islam raised graves in captured buildings in every country it overran. Therefore, hereafter people must learn not to confound the building with the grave mounds which are grafts in conquered buildings. This is true of the Tajmahal too. One may therefore admit (for arguments sake) that Mumtaz lies buried inside the Taj. But that should not be construed to mean that the Taj was raised over Mumtaz's grave.

66. The Taj is a seven storied building. Prince Aurangzeb also mentions this in his letter to Shahjahan. The marble edifice comprises four stories including the lone, tall circular hall inside the top, and the lone chamber in the basement. In between are two floors each containing 12 to 15 palatial rooms. Below the marble plinth reaching down to the river at the rear are two more stories in red stone. They may be seen from the river bank. The seventh storey must be below the ground (river) level since every ancient Hindu building had a subterranian storey.

67. Immediately bellow the marble plinth on the river flank are 22 rooms in red stone with their ventilators all walled up by Shahjahan. Those rooms, made uninhibitably by Shahjahan, are kept locked by Archealogy Department of India. The lay visitor is kept in the dark about them. Those 22 rooms still bear ancient Hindu paint on their walls and ceilings. On their side is a nearly 33 feet long corridor. There are two door frames one at either end ofthe corridor. But those doors are intriguingly sealed with brick and lime.

68. Apparently those doorways originally sealed by Shahjahan have been since unsealed and again walled up several times. In 1934 a resident of Delhi took a peep inside from an opening in the upper part of the doorway. To his dismay he saw huge hall inside. It contained many statues huddled around a central beheaded image of Lord Shiva. It could be that, in there, are Sanskrit inscriptions too. All the seven stories of the Tajmahal need to be unsealed and scoured to ascertain what evidence they may be hiding in the form of Hindu images, Sanskrit inscriptions, scriptures, coins and utensils.

69. Apart from Hindu images hidden in the sealed stories it is also learnt that Hindu images are also stored in the massive walls of the Taj. Between 1959 and 1962 when Mr. S.R. Rao was the Archealogical Superintendent in Agra, he happened to notice a deep and wide crack in the wall of the central octagonal chamber of the Taj. When a part of the wall was dismantled to study the crack out popped two or three marble images. The matter was hushed up and the images were reburied where they had been embedded at Shahjahan's behest. Confirmation of this has been obtained from several sources. It was only when I began my investigation into the antecedents of the Taj I came across the above information which had remained a forgotten secret. What better proof is needed of the Temple origin of the Tajmahal? Its walls and sealed chambers still hide in Hindu idols that were consecrated in it before Shahjahan's seizure of the Taj.

PRE-SHAHJAHAN REFERENCES TO THE TAJ

70. Apparently the Taj as a central palace seems to have an chequered history. The Taj was perhaps desecrated and looted by every Muslim invader from Mohammad Ghazni onwards but passing into Hindu hands off and on, the sanctity of the Taj as a Shiva temple continued to be revived after every muslim onslaught. Shahjahan was the last muslim to desecrate the Tajmahal alias Tejomahalay.

71. Vincent Smith records in his book titled `Akbar the Great Moghul' that `Babur's turbulent life came to an end in his garden palace in Agra in 1630'. That palace was none other than the Tajmahal. 72. Babur's daughter Gulbadan Begum in her chronicle titled `Humayun Nama' refers to the Taj as the Mystic House.

73. Babur himself refers to the Taj in his memoirs as the palace captured by Ibrahim Lodi containing a central octagonal chamber and having pillars on the four sides. All these historical references allude to the Taj 100 years before Shahjahan.

74. The Tajmahal precincts extend to several hundred yards in all directions. Across the river are ruins of the annexes of the Taj, the bathing ghats and a jetty for the ferry boat. In the Victoria gardens outside covered with creepers is the long spur of the ancient outer wall ending in a octagonal red stone tower. Such extensive grounds all magnificently done up, are a superfluity for a grave.

75. Had the Taj been specially built to bury Mumtaz, it should not have been cluttered with other graves. But the Taj premises contain several graves atleast in its eastern and southern pavilions.

76. In the southern flank, on the other side of the Tajganj gate are buried in identical pavilions queens Sarhandi Begum, and Fatehpuri Begum and a maid Satunnisa Khanum. Such parity burial can be justified only if the queens had been demoted or the maid promoted. But since Shahjahan had commandeered (not built) the Taj, he reduced it general to a muslim cemetary as was the habit of all his Islamic predeccssors, and buried a queen in a vacant pavillion and a maid in another idenitcal pavilion.

77. Shahjahan was married to several other women before and after Mumtaz. She, therefore, deserved no special consideration in having a wonder mausoleum built for her.

78. Mumtaz was a commoner by birth and so she did not qualify for a fairyland burial.

79. Mumtaz died in Burhanpur which is about 600 miles from Agra. Her grave there is intact. Therefore ,the centotaphs raised in stories of the Taj in her name seem to be fakes hiding in Hindu Shiva emblems.

80. Shahjahan seems to have simulated Mumtaz's burial in Agra to find a pretext to surround the temple palace with his fierce and fanatic troops and remove all the costly fixtures in his treasury. This finds confirmation in the vague noting in the Badshahnama which says that the Mumtaz's (exhumed) body was brought to Agra from Burhanpur and buried `next year'. An official term would not use a nebulous term unless it is to hide some thing.

81. A pertinent consideration is that a Shahjahan who did not build any palaces for Mumtaz while she was alive, would not build a fabulous mausoleum for a corpse which was no longer kicking or clicking.

82. Another factor is that Mumtaz died within two or three years of Shahjahan becoming an emperor. Could he amass so much superflous wealth in that short span as to squander it on a wonder mausoleum?

83. While Shahjahan's special attachment to Mumtaz is nowhere recorded in history his amorous affairs with many other ladies from maids to mannequins including his own daughter Jahanara, find special attention in accounts of Shahjahan's reign. Would Shahjahan shower his hard earned wealth on Mumtaz's corpse?

84. Shahjahan was a stingy, usurious monarch. He came to throne murdering all his rivals. He was not therefore, the doting spendthrift that he is made out to be.

85. A Shahjahan disconsolate on Mumtaz's death is suddenly credited with a resolve to build the Taj. This is a psychological incongruity. Grief is a disabling, incapacitating emotion.

86. A infatuated Shahjahan is supposed to have raised the Taj over the dead Mumtaz, but carnal, physical sexual love is again a incapacitating emotion. A womaniser is ipso facto incapable of any constructive activity. When carnal love becomes uncontrollable the person either murders somebody or commits suicide. He cannot raise a Tajmahal. A building like the Taj invariably originates in an ennobling emotion like devotion to God, to one's mother and mother country or power and glory.

87. Early in the year 1973, chance digging in the garden in front of the Taj revealed another set of fountains about six feet below the present fountains. This proved two things. Firstly, the subterranean fountains were there before Shahjahan laid the surface fountains. And secondly that those fountains are aligned to the Taj that edifice too is of pre Shahjahan origin. Apparently the garden and its fountains had sunk from annual monsoon flooding and lack of maintenance for centuries during the Islamic rule.

89. The stately rooms on the upper floor of the Tajmahal have been striped of their marble mosaic by Shahjahan to obtain matching marble for raising fake tomb stones inside the Taj premises at several places. Contrasting with the rich finished marble ground floor rooms the striping of the marble mosaic covering the lower half of the walls and flooring of the upper storey have given those rooms a naked, robbed look. Since no visitors are allowed entry to the upper storey this despoilation by Shahjahan has remained a well guarded secret. There is no reason why Shahjahan's loot of the upper floor marble should continue to be hidden from the public even after 200 years of termination of Moghul rule.

90. Bernier, the French traveller has recorded that no non muslim was allowed entry into the secret nether chambers of the Taj because there are some dazzling fixtures there. Had those been installed by Shahjahan they should have been shown the public as a matter of pride. But since it was commandeered Hindu wealth which Shahjahan wanted to remove to his treasury, he didn't want the public to know about it.

91. The approach to Taj is dotted with hillocks raised with earth dugout from foundation trenches. The hillocks served as outer defences of the Taj building complex. Raising such hillocks from foundation earth, is a common Hindu device of hoary origin. Nearby Bharatpur provides a graphic parallel.

Peter Mundy has recorded that Shahjahan employed thousands of labourers to level some of those hillocks. This is a graphic proof of the Tajmahal existing before Shahjahan.

93. At the backside of the river bank is a Hindu crematorium, several palaces, Shiva temples and bathings of ancient origin. Had Shahjahan built the Tajmahal, he would have destroyed the Hindu features.

94. The story that Shahjahan wanted to build a Black marble Taj across the river, is another motivated myth. The ruins dotting the other side of the river are those of Hindu structures demolished during muslim invasions and not the plinth of another Tajmahal. Shahjahan who did not even build the white Tajmahal would hardly ever think of building a black marble Taj. He was so miserly that he forced labourers to work gratis even in the superficial tampering neccesary to make a Hindu temple serve as a Muslim tomb.

95. The marble that Shahjahan used for grafting Koranic lettering in the Taj is of a pale white shade while the rest of the Taj is built of a marble with rich yellow tint. This disparity is proof of the Koranic extracts being a superimposition.

96. Though imaginative attempts have been made by some historians to foist some fictitious name on history as the designer of the Taj others more imaginative have credited Shajahan himself with superb architechtural proficiency and artistic talent which could easily concieve and plan the Taj even in acute bereavment. Such people betray gross ignorance of history in as much as Shajahan was a cruel tyrant ,a great womaniser and a drug and drink addict.

97. Fanciful accounts about Shahjahan commisioning the Taj are all confused. Some asserted that Shahjahan ordered building drawing from all over the world and chose one from among them. Others assert that a man at hand was ordered to design a mausoleum amd his design was approved. Had any of those versions been true Shahjahan's court papers should have had thousands of drawings concerning the Taj. But there is not even a single drawing. This is yet another clinching proof that Shahjahan did not commision the Taj.

98. The Tajmahal is surrounded by huge mansions which indicate that several battles have been waged around the Taj several times.

99. At the south east corner of the Taj is an ancient royal cattle house. Cows attached to the Tejomahalay temple used to reared there. A cowshed is an incongruity in an Islamic tomb.

100. Over the western flank of the Taj are several stately red stone annexes. These are superflous for a mausoleum.

101. The entire Taj complex comprises of 400 to 500 rooms. Residential accomodation on such a stupendous scale is unthinkable in a mausoleum.

102. The neighbouring Tajganj township's massive protective wall also encloses the Tajmahal temple palace complex. This is a clear indication that the Tejomahalay temple palace was part and parcel of the township. A street of that township leads straight into the Tajmahal. The Tajganj gate is aligned in a perfect straight line to the octagonal red stone garden gate and the stately entrance arch of the Tajmahal. The Tajganj gate besides being central to the Taj temple complex, is also put on a pedestal. The western gate by which the visitors enter the Taj complex is a camparatively minor gateway. It has become the entry gate for most visitors today because the railway station and the bus station are on that side.

103. The Tajmahal has pleasure pavillions which a tomb would never have.

104. A tiny mirror glass in a gallery of the Red Fort in Agra reflects the Taj mahal. Shahjahan is said to have spent his last eight years of life as a prisoner in that gallery peering at the reflected Tajmahal and sighing in the name of Mumtaz. This myth is a blend of many falsehoods. Firstly,old Shajahan was held prisoner by his son Aurangzeb in the basement storey in the Fort and not in an open,fashionable upper storey. Secondly, the glass piece was fixed in the 1930's by Insha Allah Khan, a peon of the archaelogy dept.just to illustrate to the visitors how in ancient times the entire apartment used to scintillate with tiny mirror pieces reflecting the Tejomahalay temple a thousand fold. Thirdly, a old decrepit Shahjahan with pain in his joints and cataract in his eyes, would not spend his day craning his neck at an awkward angle to peer into a tiny glass piece with bedimmed eyesight when he could as well his face around and have full,direct view of the Tjamahal itself. But the general public is so gullible as to gulp all such prattle of wily, unscrupulous guides.

105. That the Tajmahal dome has hundreds of iron rings sticking out of its exterior is a feature rarely noticed. These are made to hold Hindu earthen oil lamps for temple illumination.

106. Those putting implicit faith in Shahjahan authorship of the Taj have been imagining Shahjahan-Mumtaz to be a soft hearted romantic pair like Romeo and Juliet. But contemporary accounts speak of Shahjahan as a hard hearted ruler who was constantly egged on to acts of tyranny and cruelty, by Mumtaz.

107. School and College history carry the myth that Shahjahan reign was a golden period in which there was peace and plenty and that Shahjahan commisioned many buildings and patronized literature. This is pure fabrication. Shahjahan did not commision even a single building as we have illustrated by a detailed analysis of the Tajmahal legend. Shahjahn had to enrage in 48 military campaigns during a reign of nearly 30 years which proves that his was not a era of peace and plenty.

108. The interior of the dome rising over Mumtaz's centotaph has a representation of Sun and cobras drawn in gold. Hindu warriors trace their origin to the Sun. For an Islamic mausoleum the Sun is redundant. Cobras are always associated with Lord Shiva.

FORGED DOCUMENTS

109. The muslim caretakers of the tomb in the Tajmahal used to possess a document which they styled as "Tarikh-i-Tajmahal". Historian H.G. Keene has branded it as `a document of doubtful authenticity'. Keene was uncannily right since we have seen that Shahjahan not being the creator of the Tajmahal any document which credits Shahjahn with the Tajmahal, must be an outright forgery. Even that forged document is reported to have been smuggled out of Pakistan. Besides such forged documents there are whole chronicles on the Taj which are pure concoctions.

110. There is lot of sophistry and casuistry or atleast confused thinking associated with the Taj even in the minds of proffesional historians, archaelogists and architects. At the outset they assert that the Taj is entirely Muslim in design. But when it is pointed out that its lotus capped dome and the four corner pillars etc. are all entirely Hindu those worthies shift ground and argue that that was probably because the workmen were Hindu and were to introduce their own patterns. Both these arguments are wrong because Muslim accounts claim the designers to be Muslim,and the workers invariably carry out the employer's dictates.

The Taj is only a typical illustration of how all historic buildings and townships from Kashmir to Cape Comorin though of Hindu origin have been ascribed to this or that Muslim ruler or courtier.

It is hoped that people the world over who study Indian history will awaken to this new finding and revise their erstwhile beliefs.

Those interested in an indepth study of the above and many other revolutionary rebuttals may read this author's other research books.

For pictorial proof please visit http://www.stephen-knapp.com/was_the_taj_mahal_a_vedic_temple.htm

It has some really interesting stuff

Fresh off the web...An Evening in Paris Review...Great Pics

2005-10-27T22:56:00.000-07:00

AN EVENING IN PARIS
1967, Hindi, 150 minutes.
Directed by Shakti Samantha
Music by Shankar Jaikishan; lyrics by Shailendra and Harat Jaipuri; story and screenplay by Sachin Bhowmick; written by Ramesh Pant; cinematography by V. Gopi Krishna; playback singers: Mohammad Rafi and Asha Bhosle.

“Dehko! Dehko! Dehko!” (“Look! Look! Look!”) Shammi Kapoor demands of his audience (and the baffled European extras surrounding him) while performing the title song to this mid-sixties hit amidst the unfolding credit sequence. And while there’s indeed plenty to look at in this travelogue masquerading as a narrative, there’s not much else to engage the viewer who might be seeking such middle-class accoutrements as plot, suspense, or character development. Clearly filmed in actual locations leaping (even within scenes) from Paris to Beirut to Switzerland before an action packed climax above and below Niagara Falls, this film seems most interested in displaying the tourist sites most Indian spectators could only dream of viewing in the flesh, and so AN EVENING IN PARIS provides faux Frenchman Sam (Shammi Kapoor) as their worldly relay to the wonders of not only gay Paree but, in effect, the whole world. This fantasy, of unlimited access to the world’s scenic wonders and material pleasures, is one of the things that even the silliest popular films can help illuminate, and the regular suggestion that some Indians can only live the high life through international crime is a perceptive underside to the good Indians in such films who travel the world oblivious to budgets. (Among other things, the film is a tribute to travel’s modes of transportation; the film starts inside an Air India jet, and across the film, Shammi will ride cars, scooters, helicopters, and speedboats, but when he needs to travel long distances, the invocation of a new location usually takes him there with an instant cut: there’s of course no reference to the cost of any of this whirlwind travel.) Like many popular films, whether Hindi or Hollywood, this one relies on the persistent display of enviable fashions, fancy apartments, and decadent pleasures – cigarettes, alcohol, and those notorious Parisian night spots – to engage spectators in dreams of a luxurious, modern world which is also condemned as superficial when matters of the heart arise. And many of these visions are indeed eye-popping, especially in a few bizarre (even by Bollywood masala standards) production numbers that define postmodern pastiche. But the film seems overwhelmed by its desire to demonstrate that the production company really did travel to all its locations to place its performers in front of actual monuments and natural wonders, all backed by gawking spectators who seem unimpressed with the admirable lip-synching the actors are performing on streets, buses, ski lifts, and raging rivers. (The audiences for the wild nightclub numbers, though described as “lustful,” seem especially comatose.) In this way, the film paves the way for more recent films that focus on the cultural identity of NRI (non-resident Indian) characters and feature enticing side-trips to foreign lands, at least for song sequences. AN EVENING IN PARIS is unusual, however, in never returning its characters to Mother India, though part of the film’s fantasy includes its characters finding Hindi speakers (or at least people who seem to understand Hindi) everywhere on the globe.

In addition to blatantly indulging in the montage effect Eisenstein termed “creative geography,” AN EVENING IN PARIS is also, of course, a star vehicle featuring the often manic Shammi Kapoor in a performance that in this case begins with unusual restraint, but soon escalates to the arm-flinging, sudden-head-dropping physical abandon that so entranced audiences used to a previous generation of anguished and repressed male heroes. Gladly taking on outrageous costumes and impersonations (in one case as a Bengali stereotype) Shammi continues to mug and roll about with the glee that defined his screen persona following 1961’s breakthrough hit JUNGLEE. As the period’s embodiment of international youth culture for Indian audiences, he can look a little old and pudgy by Western standards – Shammi was at once the young and old Elvis -- but the difference he brought to Hindi cinema can’t be easily dismissed, and Nasreen Munni Kabir is on the money when she notes that Shammi Kapoor, rather than Amibabh Bachchan, who would rule the Indian boxoffice in the 70s, is the real precursor to contemporary uninhibited stars such as Shah Rukh Khan and Govinda.

In AN EVENING, Shammi’s frequent leading lady Sharmila Tagore plays a maddeningly incoherent character, whose motives and affections change without warning, but as a star she’s the consistent embodiment of a notion of 60s cosmopolitan glamour, sporting the high hair and elaborate eye makeup common to Hindi heroines (and European models) of the period. Eventually taking on a dual role, she also gets to vamp and do really bad things like dance, drink, and smoke, the latter habit so shocking that it exposes her character’s deception when she’s pretending to be a proper Indian girl. (Drinking Coca-cola, however, seems OK.) Taking the film far more seriously that it wishes, she suggests the double standard, and even the internal tension, common to all popular depictions of (dull) good girls and (interesting) bad girls in film.

There is, in fact, a plot here, but it doesn’t make much sense (not a major problem for certain Hindi films) or engage the viewer emotionally (a far more damning defect). Wealthy Deepa (Sharmila Tagore) arrives in Paris hating men, especially because they are only interested in her money. Pretending, with little effort, to be a poor Indian girl, while running around the Eiffel Tower barefoot, she meets an excitable French photographer who speaks a bit of Hindi, picked up from his friend Sam. When Sam encounters Deepa, the hapless Frenchman, now dressed as Air India’s maharajah mascot and seeking (as the French will) an impetuous marriage, is set aside and the remainder of the film will involve Sam trying to woo Deepa by chasing and annoying her, a common seduction technique for Hindi film heroes, especially Shammi. Besides the clash of egos and sexes already hampering the main couple, other complications include an evil, gold-haired and decadent Indian named Shekar (Pran) out to nab Deepa while he dodges gangsters (the also blond Jack and the bald Jaggu) to whom he owes money. Late in the story, the revelation that Deepa had a twin sister Rupa (now a cabaret performer known as Suzy) allows for a series of masquerades that seem less significant as plot devices than for the way in which this allows Sharmila Tagore to, again, play both a virgin and a whore, coded of course by their contrasted Indian and Western manners. (A quick flashback to the kidnapping of little Rupa provides the kind of traumatic event that would begin many other Hindi films: in this case the troubling night has been more or less forgotten by everyone involved, though its recollection seems to encourage bad girl Suzy to eventually embrace a version of sisterhood: the audience is treated to the image of Sharmila hugging herself.) Indeed, the question of what kind of behavior defines a “good Indian girl” so far from home is one of the only cultural points the film really explores, and in this regard it looks forward to later investigations of the topic such as 1995’s megahit DILWALE DULHANIYA LE JAYENGE. A few last-minute fights and a rescue wrap things up, but leave other points hanging, though no audience is likely to care to much about what’s left unresolved. We’ve had a lot to look at, after all, and that’s really all Shammi and the filmmakers promised.

That 80s Thing

2005-10-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

I started with a e-mail forward I recieved last week and that thing has been contiuosly hitting me time and again. I like to call it the "80s thing".
It's all about those TV shows we used to watch wasy back in our childhood. Not the obviuos ones like Ramanand sagar's Ramayana or B.R. Chopra's Mahabharat. What I mean is the lesser known (and probably lesser remembered) ones.
How many of us remember a series called INDRADHANUSH ?. It was about a group of kids who develop a time-machine and then have number of time-travelling adventures. If I am not wrong it featured a very young Akshay Anand (now seen essaying character roles in TV serials, after a rather unsuccessful film career). Some of the situations were so believable that I remember them even now. One "futuritic" episode featured a the hero having to fight his clone !!, and have meals right out of a capsule !!
Another series which comes to my mind is SPACE CITY SIGMA (I seem obsessed with Science Fiction series) this was a Star Trek/Star Wars copy and even if tacky, I thought it was rather good.
Do we have anyplace to preserve such old TV material ???
In those ages with no cartoon network around we had to rely on Good Old Doordarshan (Hey that comes to G.O.D.......oh my @$% !!!). So let me rant off a lift of cartoons that I loved to watch ....1. He-Man
2. Spiderman
3. Superman
Also though not strictly a cartoon, I think "Johnny Sokko and the Giant Robot" would qualify.
Watching a spoof of VIKRAM AUR BETAAL on The Great Indian Comedy Show last night , a sudden surge of nostalgia swept through me.
All I am saying is even with soooo many channels around, are we getting the kind of programmes we really want to watch?
We used to watch so many different types of movies on the Sunday afternoon regional movie slot or on the late night slot.
Hmmmm..